Welcome to shaving demystified, a series of articles in which we seek to answer the most common questions about shaving. We see these questions asked time and again online, and we see them answered in ways that are range from too specific to downright wrong, so we seek to answer them here. Today we are starting with an age old question: when should girls start shaving?
Broadly speaking we see this question asked in a few different ways: sometimes it’s a parent asking when their daughter should start shaving, and sometimes it’s a young girl asking when they themselves should start shaving. Ultimately the short answer to both is the same, but we’re going to dive into a variety of different ways of asking today to provide the most comprehensive answer possible.
Can, Should, and Need To
Whether it’s a girl asking when she can, should, or needs to start shaving, or a mother asking when to let, to teach, or to have her daughter start shaving, we usually see these questions asked in terms of when a girl is able to start shaving, when it becomes important for a girl to start shaving, and when a girl is expected to start shaving.
When CAN I Start Shaving
Can implies a girl wants to start shaving, but doesn’t know if she is able to yet, and this is the best case scenario. Shaving is a normal part of being a girl, and starting to shave is a normal part of growing up, so if a girl is asking when she can start shaving, that’s great because it means she’s ready for the day she is able to start.
When a girl is able to start shaving depends on the individual girl and where she’s starting to shave. For some girls they are able to start shaving their legs as soon as they start showering; a girl is able to shave her legs whenever her legs start to grow hair of any kind, and for many girls this happens from a very young age. For armpits and genitals though, most girls don’t start to grow hair here until puberty, and if there’s no hair to shave a girl can’t shave it.
When Should I Start Shaving
Should implies an understanding that girls are expected to shave at some point, and this is the most common form of the question we see by far. Girls should generally start shaving whenever their body hair becomes visible from an arms length away. While most girls can start shaving before this occurs, the expectation of shaving comes from the visibility of body hair, so a girl is not expected to shave until their body hair becomes visible to others.
There are however a number of other reasons girls should shave that play a factor as well. These are secondary to visibility because generally girls start growing visible body hair before these become a factor, but in the event that the body hair is still difficult to see, there are some other indicators that a girl should start shaving. All of these assume that regardless of visibility there is body hair for a girl to remove by shaving.
For the legs, the only reason to remove hair before it’s visible to others is if the hair is causing discomfort- being pulled by clothing, rubbing the skin
uncomfortably, or feeling the hair in an undesirable way are all good indicators that a girl should start shaving. For both armpits and genitals discomfort is still a good indicator that it’s time to start shaving but they both add a few extra reasons girls should start. Namely that hair increases the amount of body oder produced by a girl, so when she starts needing to wear deodorant, that’s a good time to shave.
Finally, the genital region adds a few more reasons a girl should shave it, and generally it’s recommended for a girl to start shaving her vagina as soon as it starts to grow hair. Hair on a girls vagina traps urine, so girls generally should keep their vagina hair-free from the moment it starts growing.
When Do I Need To Start
Generally a girl needs to– or in other words is expected to start shaving whenever they start to be expected to behave in a mature fashion. When they get their first job is the biggest one for legs and armpits although there are other things that lead to the expectation of shaving.
The first place a girl becomes expected to shave is usually their vagina, and this happens for one of four reasons. Firstly, if oder becomes an issue, a girl is expected to shave her vagina to help control that oder. Genital hair makes it easier for body oder to spread, so when oder becomes a problem for a girl it’s important for her to shave off hair from the affected areas.
Second is when a girl starts wearing tight pants that cling tightly to her vagina. The easiest way to tell if a girl needs to shave her vagina is whether her clothing needs to be warn with a thong. If it does, then she needs to shave as well.
Third, when a girl starts her period she needs to be shaving as well. The menstrual blood gets caught in the hair, and the best way to meaningfully prevent her menstrual blood from clinging to the genital hair is to shave it.
And finally it’s expected that a girl will shave her vagina when she becomes sexually active. Not only does this create a more pleasant experience for everyone, but this also reduces her risk of contracting an STI. The hair increases contact area and collects fluid, so girls are expected to shave their genitals prior to having sex.
Mothers Allowing, Teaching, and Requiring Shaving
Now that we understand the difference between when girls can start shaving, should start shaving, and need to start shaving- it’s time to talk specifically about the questions we see from moms regarding their daughters shaving. Generally speaking, just like with can, should, and need to- moms tend to ask about when they should allow, teach, and require their daughter’s to shave.
Allow
Some moms ask when they should “let” their daughter start shaving, and this is a real head scratcher for us. “When should I allow my daughter to start shaving-” implies that there’s a time when you shouldn’t which we don’t understand. At the end of the day you should always allow your daughter to shave, and as a mom it’s your job to facilitate your daughter learning to shave and, as your daughter grows up it’s your job to teach her to shave. Not just how to do it, but when to do it and to help her (through encouragement, and reinforcement) integrate shaving into her routine.
Teach
Now, as for when you should teach your daughter to shave this has two main components. The first is teaching her how, physically, to shave. How to pick a razor blade, run it along the skin in different directions, etc. And then teaching her to keep herself clean shaven through integrating shaving into her routine and helping her learn that shaving is an expectation.
As for when you should teach her each of those- you should to start teaching your daughter how, physically, to shave whenever she: expresses interest in shaving or expresses issues with her body hair, starts growing hair on her vagina, or her hair just barely starts to darken. You should not wait for it to be very dark, or for her to get her first period because it will take her some time to get used to shaving, and she needs that time available to practice.
As far as teaching her the expectations around shaving and teaching her to actually keep herself clean shaven, this should start with a general openness around the societal expectations for girls at large, and as she needs to shave more and more, you should help her integrate that into her schedule.
Making Daughter’s Shave.
The understanding of the requirements for girls to shave start at home. It’s always better for a girl to learn about the need to shave from her mother than from the world at large. For most girls this means teaching them how to shave, and eventually talking to them about the expectations around shaving. Most girls will start shaving regularly when their peers start to shave and start pointing out their body hair, but some girls need a bit more pressure.
Generally speaking you should try and teach them to shave as early as possible, and you should explain the expectations around shaving a little before they need to start shaving, but if they aren’t shaving when they need to it’s a good idea to start requiring it. Only letting your daughter go out with her friends when she’s cleanly shaved serves the same purpose as keeping her in until her hair is washed: it can help her learn that these are things she needs to do to so she’s presentable. It can also help to explain to her how it reflects on you if she goes out without shaving- explaining how not only will she be judged but people will assume you didn’t teach her to shave can sometimes help her understand the full importance of keeping herself clean and shaved.
It’s rare however that you’ll need to start forcing your daughter to shave. Most girls want to shave anyways, either because they want to grow up or because of the benefits shaving offers; and for the girls who don’t start shaving of their own accord, usually they’ll start shaving when their peers start shaving. Girls typically look out for one another so when her peers start shaving they’ll usually talk to her about how important it is for girls to shave. Typically even for girls who don’t want to shave, that peer pressure will be sufficient to get them started.
Peer pressure serves a purpose when a girl knows how to shave and already understands the social expectations around it, but if a girl doesn’t know it’s coming it can be quite distressing. That’s why it’s so important for a girl to learn how to shave as early as they are able to. Generally whenever they start growing hair on their legs it’s time for them to learn how to shave, even if the hair isn’t yet visible. Until the hair is problematic, shaving can just be a fun extra for them to do whenever they like.
Once they start approaching the age at which shaving will become necessary however (when body oder starts becoming a problem, the hair starts to become more visible, or they start growing pubic hair), you should be talking to them about the importance of shaving regularly. You want them to already be in the habit of shaving before it becomes really important because otherwise they may be caught off guard. Those habits are easier to build when it’s okay for them to cheat sometimes rather than when they need to shave all the time.
